[Photos: Splash News]
SARA CANNING: Oh, wow. I didn’t realize it was a costume press conference.
KATERINA GRAHAM: What? It’s not. I dress like this all the time. Don’t you know that?
SARA: Well, we don’t have that many scenes together on Vampire Diaries, so I don’t really see you. And you seem a bit beside-the-point right now.
KATERINA: Oh, please. Your character is the Cindy Walsh of the show. Eventually people will get tired of the boring parent figure and you’ll get booted off to Hong Kong, where your husband with back hair will think about divorcing you for one or two weird Special Episodes where Brandon brings his horrible girlfriend on a trip with him, and then you’ll show up when he and Kelly decide not to get married and that’s about it.
SARA: Great, thanks. Well, at least I’m putting my best fashion foot forward, so to speak.
KATERINA: You don’t think these things are a good foot? HELLO. They’re like walking on pillows.
SARA: Yeah, but it’s weird. You look like a dancer who’s hanging out backstage between shows, wearing half her costume and half whatever she put on to run to the Hot & Crusty to get a bagel and some Snapple.
KATERINA: We’ll see who’s laughing when my character is still going all witch-science on people’s asses and yours is killed off because she makes the viewers want to take a nap.
SARA: My character is not that bad! Just the other week I was doing shots. I make out with people sometimes, and stuff. When do YOU get to do that?
KATERINA: Ho, I get to make shit happen with my MIND! I hope our characters have a face-off. I will win and you will be stuck answering the front door and inviting vampires inside in perpetuity. Unless maybe I burn you alive.
SARA: I will invite you in to an ASS-KICKING. Bring it.
KATERINA: It’s BROUGHTEN. GET READY. Although I need to change my shoes first. I can’t kick anything with these. They weigh eighty pounds each.
SARA: And that — and those gloves — is why, even if I lose later, I win today.