I feel like… this maybe isn’t FUG, exactly, but it’s a snore for sure.

The shoulders remind me of Emma Stone’s hip horns, but with less courage, and the overall dress evokes Mila Kunis’s Friends With Benefits outfit — except, misshapen at the hips and without as much grace in the bodice. So really, it’s a refried version of something else, and that never tastes as good. I’m underwhelmed. If these hems that hit longer are coming back in — and it appears they are; isn’t three a trend? –then the rest of the dress needs to fit like a glove, or have something really spectacular to recommend it, or else it will seem a bit pointless. Frankly, I feel that way in general about Olivia Wilde. Nothing against her personally, at all; I didn’t mind her on The O.C., and she was interesting-ish in Tron (that’s as high as my praise goes in relation to that movie). But I just can’t quite figure out why, exactly, she’s suddenly in every single movie and/or at every single party, other than her having the world’s most accomplished agent and largest datebook.  There needs to be more. And so far, saloon-quality widow’s weeds and red satin shoes with a dull red dress (that is a faint echo of another red dress I didn’t love in the first place) are not doing the job.

Neither is the hair:

One thing about Olivia Wilde, which makes her stand out, is her bone structure. Which is totally overshadowed and/or mutated somewhat by this haircut — the bangs, the thin extensions, the length, all of it. Why take away what’s guaranteed to work for you? I will never understand famous people. It’s like they get bored about what’s awesome about them, and set out to sabotage it. That being said, this is obviously not an irredeemable situation, but I just wish she’d grow those out with a quickness and go back to some hair that doesn’t look like I could string it up and use it to play a violin.

I mean. This is not Baywatch. Although if it were, she’d probably be in it, because SHE IS EVERYWHERE. Talk about a meteoric rise to omnipresence. I hope her agent has a condo in Bora Bora by now.