“HOLA LOVERS. Did you see the news that I am a computer genius? I invented image searching! All it took was wearing one teeny green dress at the Grammys practically yesterday DO NOT GOOGLE INFORMATION SEARCH HOW LONG AGO IT WAS LOVERS OR ELSE I WILL NOT SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN and the Interglobe went crazy trying to find pictures of it and BOOM I woke up one day and Google Image Search existed. I made it! You are welcome, lovers. In the words of Bryan or Adam or whoever: Everything I do, I do it for you.
“And now I am going to uninvent image search because you do not need to find this again. You should not see me like this. So WEAK. So SQUISHED. So INEXPENSIVE. YOU DO NOT CHEAPLY STUFF THE LOPEZ. How many times do I have to ask the Pope to put that in The Bible before he LISTENS, lovers? Just put in another tablet thingy with orders on it. Easy.”