Welcome back, SWINTON, you deeply engaging beacon of confusion.
I don’t even understand what this garment fundamentally IS, much less how it works. Is it a coat pinned to a chair cover? A child’s First Communion vestment gathered up and belted to her for luck? Is she going to her own City Hall wedding, which she will run out on because she’s actually already married but she’s just into the idea of the drama? Never tell me, SWINTON. I just want to close my eyes and imagine.