SHIRLEY: Hello, Ma.

MERYL: No, dearest,  it’s not your mother, it’s Meryl.

SHIRLEY: I know that, you crackpot, I’m not senile. I was talking to Half-Pint’s mother.

MERYL: Do you need some medication, sweetheart?

SHIRLEY: Can it, Easy Streep, I’m as sane as a balloon.

MERYL: Which is…?

SHIRLEY: CLEARLY, you are not simply Meryl Streep. CLEARLY, you wear the baggage of your past lives like a celestial cloak made of lace and the tears of prairie folk. And CLEARLY you are the reincarnation of Ma Ingalls.

MERYL: Okay, dear. If you say so.

SHIRLEY: Don’t tweak my craw, Grim Streeper. Reincarnation is my game. Cross me here, and I’ll smite you sometime in 2079.

MERYL: Fair enough.

[Photo: Getty]