The 90s officially ARE back:
Which is fine. I’ve accepted this. However, if the 90s are coming back, I demand certain other items other than goth maxi skirts and sheer/velvet tops from Contempto Casuals and charms nicked from the set of The Craft. Here are my conditions, 90s. If you want to come back, you need to bring with you the following:
- Johnny Depp in his gorgeous prime, pre-TimBurtonization and his raging addiction to looking like Captain Jack Sparrow all the time.
- Pursuant to the previous, Sassy magazine. But awesome, original Sassy and not the weird terrible Sassy that happened after it got bought by Peterson. Additionally, someone needs to do something about the Sassy wikipedia page, because it seems totally half-assed and whoever wrote it really didn’t get Sassy AT ALL.
- The 1995 UCLA men’s basketball team, as they were in 1995, to immediately substitute for the 2013 UCLA men’s basketball team.
- Melrose Place and a fully bad-ass Heather Locklear
- This really cute paisley Gap messenger bag I had in 1993 that has to be in my mother’s house somewhere, but which I can not find.
That’s it. Deliver these to me, 90s Throwbacks, and you can stay. I will even accept a facsimile of the messenger bag. I am not totally unreasonable.