Oh, Scandal. I don’t really miss recapping it, as people seemed weary of discussing it, but that also means I have nowhere to vent my spleen about it every week. Like when — non-spoilery, I think — Olivia was lecturing people about their morality in a way that essentially totally erased Huck’s sins and made her look like she completely forgot how many people Huck casually murdered even just since working for her. It made me INSANE. It feels like the writers are trying really hard to see how many of these people they ruined can be salvaged, but what ends up happening is that other characters just end up looking worse.

Anyway: A hundred episodes is still worthy of a celebration, so party on, dudes.

Kerry here is wearing a J. Mendel that is, as per her usual, several degrees off in several important places. If she celebrates too hard, her B-613s will storm the castle, as it were.

Darby looks fabulous in this color; her head is amazing. I’m bored by the outfit, though. There’s a vague ’70s vibe, but not enough of one to feel like it’s THAT committed to itself. She could pull off so much more interesting stuff than this, and has, so… maybe she was just tired and wanted to slip into bed the SECOND she arrived home.

Shonda, as promised, is wearing lovingly tied bundles of carbs. It’s a Dolce & Gabbana dress (as if anything that line has ever made promotes a lifestyle that includes carbs), and I find this both objectively hideous and deeply, weirdly charming. Even as I cringe that she didn’t find cuter shoes. I cannot get mad at anything which so ardently celebrates my favorite sauce delivery system. But wouldn’t a dress covered in wine glasses, or in tiny depictions of wine cardigans, have been more apt? Olivia Pope only eats popcorn and Gettysburgers.

Jessalyn Gilsig here looks both nice, and as if she’s thinking, “I’ve only done a couple episodes, I’m a recast character, I have SERIOUS DOUBTS that this is a long-term job for me, and I can’t totally remember what that Huck dude’s real name is yet. Do I need to, or will they kill me off before I can?” (That’s not a spoiler, by the way. Scandal just really likes to kill people.)

Guillermo Diaz — I say this every time — seems SO PLEASANT and so it kills me how deeply unpleasant I find his alter-ego, as well as any scene in which he is featured.

That is a LOT of gold, and I did not realize I would ever say that as if it’s a bad thing, but here we are. It’s like the world’s most expensive chain mail, and yet even so, it was on a budget because it had to complete itself with armchair fabric from Living Spaces.

I cannot take this Max Mara ensemble seriously. T-shirts under dresses reminds me of things I wore to college dances in the 90s.

Cyrus here was once married to Laurie Metcalf, and begat this actress, Zoe Perry. This explains why she has appeared on Scandal in a crucial role this season, and why her voice sounded so familiar to me (she basically inherited her mother’s). I have to say, I do not like her in the part. This might not be her fault, as most Scandal characters are terrible now. But to be on Scandal, you either have to be adept at what they seem to think is Hilarious Glibness, or you have to excel at smugly fast-paced monologuing, or both at once — and boy, do they like to mix the two, and boy, is that a specialized skill. She’s teed up for the Big Bang Theory spin-off about Sheldon, though, and given her mother’s skills I’m wondering if comedy will be more her bag. I like her chances, at least. I do not like her father’s shirt/jacket combo, but what can you do? Cyrus has bigger concerns at the moment.

[Photos: Getty]

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