Back in 2011, we were just getting to know Shailene Woodley. She was 20 by now, and a few seasons into The Secret Life of the American Teenager, but making the rounds for Intern George’s The Descendants. The ensuing buzz had us all questioning whether ABC Family would be running ads for the show — one that included a plot in which a girl believed losing her virginity caused her father to die in a plane crash, and then a final-season plot about… sex trafficking?!? — with the phrase, “starring Academy Award nominee Shailene Woodley.” We didn’t know then that Shailene was better than her ABC Family material. We didn’t know much about her at all, really. Now we know she’s a hugger, and she likes to sun her vagina because she believes vitamin D is good for it, that she defines her religion as “the Earth,” that she eats clay, and that she makes her own medicine and toothpaste. And armed with all that information… yeah, I look at this photo and see our Mama Shai, looking as likely to teach ceramics in a tiny mountain town as anything else. This is the raw-clay Shailene, before styling and big stardom and Big Little Lies, and I bet during her Covid quarantine she wore something like this every day. I hope she was able to make herself some aloe, though. She’s had a lot of extra time for labial vitamin infusions and I’m worried about sunburn.
