The context of this dismayingly sheer outfit — “Salma Hayek comes out to introduce the Red Hot Chili Peppers performance at the 2000 VH1 Music Awards” — reads like an absolute Y2K Mad Lib. But I could have told you, “Salma Hayek comes out to introduce Billie Eilish at the 2020 Grammys,” and you might have believed it. Sadly, there are starlets today who, I think, might look at that and think, “I wonder if I can get Salma to donate that to me and call it an environmentally responsible donation.” Bella Thorne would wear it. Halsey would love it. Kim Kardashian would wait until she had matching pants, of course, and she’d have a really long soul-search of a meditation on whether the collar is in fact too opaque for her. In short, we came all this way in 20 years, only to find ourselves potentially right back where we started. Except inside more, and with better technology. And thank God for that, or we’d all be watching our old VHS movies until the cassettes snapped.

[Photo: Shutterstock]