Rumor has it that if you attempt to walk through Priyanka’s tassel overlay, you will be transported into the lair of a fortune-teller who will answer you these questions three in exchange for a bauble.

Couture Council Award Luncheon, Arrivals, New York Fashion Week, USA - 04 Sep 2019

I do appreciate any dress that inspires the wearer to shake it on the red carpet (or cobbled floor, in this case). But all the tassels really do is make me want to see the dress underneath. It seems to be blue and black and white, with an uneven handkerchief hem, unless… maybe those blue things ARE a bunch of extra napkins that she’s bringing along in case of disaster. The only thing I think this dress achieves is making people wonder whether there’s a uterine secret percolating, just because it’s shapeless and it’s got a lot of business in the front that’s obscuring a very particular part of her. If any stylists have racks for PREGNANT – HIDING IT, or NOT PREGNANT – WANTS SPECULATION, this would be on them.

[Photos: Shutterstock]