Like so many before her, Cameron Diaz decided to change out of her well-fitted red-carpet gown and into something bolder for the post-parties.

Orange is great on her, even if it’s a touch snug. Tight as a drum. Then again, I guess a girl doesn’t spend months flipping monster truck tires with A.Rod to wear a muumuu to the freaking Oscars. She earned every last muscle; I just wonder if she needed to squeeze them so hard that they mate with her ribs.

Let’s zoom in on the shoulders, and no, I don’t mean her muscles:

There’s something funky about this, but there’s also something industrial-strength-lingerie about it, like the early prototype for a bra that somebody modeled after a backpack.

And then there’s this, which I do at least like better than the exposed zippers that just hang in the middle of a dress like they’re sticking out a tongue at us. This at least appears both designed and functional, as opposed to unfinished. But I wonder if she miscalculated. SURELY you don’t wave that kind of a dare in front of your boyfriend’s ex, Jennifer Lopez, and expect to stay covered all night. I cherish imagining that J.Lo skulked around “dropping food” and “rubbing her feet” while slowly snaking that sucker up into the Northern Territory.

Do you like it?

  • It's reminding me to drink my OJ, but that's about it (28%, 1,964 Votes)
  • It's made of vitamin AWESOME (72%, 5,095 Votes)

Total Voters: 7,059

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Should she have changed?

  • Yes, this is better (59%, 3,221 Votes)
  • No, the other one was great (25%, 1,386 Votes)
  • Yes, into something else (16%, 878 Votes)

Total Voters: 5,485

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[Photos: Getty]