NOTE: If you want to see any of this look huge, click on the picture and it should enlarge. I suspect many of you will want to inspect her jewelry.
And now down to business, namely: SHE IS WEARING BUT ONE PANT LEG. You know that somewhere in Canada, Celine Dion just punched her own chest in a rage and sang, “THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN MINE! BUT IT’S OVER NOW” and then turned to her diary and scribbled, “think about an album of Roxette covers.” (It occurs to me that Naomi is also wearing but one sleeve; at least her limbs are symmetrical in some kind of way.)
Honestly, Naomi Campbell is obviously a goddess — Heather and I got to cover a show she walked in, once, and her stomping past me down the runway was a magical and holy experience — but this makes her seem as if she might be a literal goddess who just emerged from being trapped inside an enchanted mural and doesn’t know exactly how our earthling clothes work but figures this seems close enough. Obviously, in the movie re-telling of this story, her insouciant take on fashion lands her a plum gig as a rich and celebrated designer, but the dumb human dude she falls in love with feels threatened by her success and makes her choose between their relationship and her career. So she electrocutes him with a lightening bolt. THE END.