My temptation with Biel lately is to be all, “Oh, GIRL,” and cradle my head in her hands, and I think this is just because I can’t figure out why she agreed to get engaged to a dude who acts a little like he wants to pretend it isn’t happening, as if the ring also has a muzzling spell on it. So whenever I see her, I have to shove that aside and try to judge the outfit irrespective of what I think the Us Weekly cover stories six months from now may say.
It’s true that the bangs do render her less recognizable. However, the sleek and angular hairdo kind of works with the outfit, which itself I like the more I study it. Maybe it’s because at the Met Ball she looked stuffy and uncomfortable, and this is a lot friskier. Or maybe it’s because the shoes have that endearing retro-futuristic look to them, as if somebody in 1983 was like, “THIS IS WHAT ALL SHOES WILL LOOK LIKE NEXT CENTURY, WHEN CARS FLY AND WE CAN IMAGINE FOOD INTO EXISTENCE.” But I do understand that wearing a dress that’s quilted like a roll of Bounty is a risky endeavor, as it increases the likelihood that someone will employ you in an attempt to mop the self-satisfied grime off of Charlie Sheen’s forehead. Here’s hoping that didn’t happen. Also, it’d take a lot more paper towels. And a hose. With the concentrated water pressure of Niagara Falls.
What do you think?
- She looks pretty great (23%, 2,075 Votes)
- She looks pretty average (22%, 1,928 Votes)
- She looks pretty blech (26%, 2,287 Votes)
- She and JT are never getting married, right? (29%, 2,604 Votes)
Total Voters: 8,896