I feel like I’m on some kind of CBS procedural looking at this — call it CSI: Fashion Police.

Because when I came upon this, I slowly took off my glasses and shook my head and said, “something went wrong here. Something went very, very wrong.”  If this were a procedural, that’s when Heather would kneel down next to the outfit and say, “…her abdomen looks like the open mouth of one of the chattier Muppets. Guy Smiley, maybe.” And I’d say, “Heather…if Julianne Hough looks like this in it….what would –” and she’d hold up her hand and be all, “don’t say it.”  And then we’d smash-cut to the credits to the tune of a lesser song by The Who, and #GuySmileyMouthDress would start trending on Twitter. And trust: you DO NOT want your dress to trend on Twitter.