First, and of utmost importance: I am glad Michelle Williams seems to have just committed to this haircut. It’s her Ideal Haircut, and every time she futzes with it, I think, “sure, you look fine, but please go back to your pixie cut.” This is called Halle Berryititis, and I’m afraid there is no cure. Once America has seen how cute you look in a short haircut, and you wear it for any prolonged period, we as a nation decide we are unable to accept or enjoy anything else happening on your head. I have enough on my plate right now to deal with Michelle Williams deciding to grow her hair out into something approximating the weird and terrible Elsa wig she sported in The Greatest Showman or some shit like that.
Second: We need to come up with a word for a look that requires profound examination to determine whether or not it is Secret Pants. I don’t believe this IS Secret Pants; I think it’s a proper skirt. But it does have a general aura of Secret Pants, and therefore I spent more time that I strictly feel comfortable with staring at Michelle Williams’s Pants Area trying to figure it out. It would be a kindness for woman to do a quick round of NKOTB’s “Hanging Tough” choreography at the open of any red carpet, just so we could be sure:
Think about it, ladies.
