The winners of these awards were announced a month ago, so I guess they just needed to… take a month to plan for how to party with them? Adam Sandler and Renee Zellweger won the lead acting awards — I keep hearing about Uncut Gems, but nothing has made me want to see it yet — and Brad Pitt and Kathy Bates (Richard Jewell) took the Supporting categories. The Irishman won for best movie, Knives Out won for Best Ensemble — CORRECT; they’re all great — Parasite won in the foreign film category, and Quentin Tarantino, who once nearly killed Uma Thurman (in fairness, she has forgiven him apparently), won for Best Director for a movie that I guess wanted to turn a huge massacre into a comedy.

Phew. I’m SALTY today.

[Photos: Shutterstock]