This award season was all about people flipping out over whether gowns had pockets. I think the E! red carpet team actually got delirious with joy over the prospect, as if that hasn’t been a thing since… off the top of my head, 11 years ago, when Amy Adams was nominated for Junebug and she and Sandra Bullock both wore gowns with pockets and jammed their hands in them the whole time. At any rate, sometimes a pocket can work, but I think they’re too tempting. People will jam their hands in, or, as in the case of Jessica here, hang on them weirdly, as if they’re actually remote controls that she’s using to pilot the drone that will deliver the movie on USB to the projection room.

Then again, maybe she’s just trying to create symmetry with the flaps above the belt, which are uniting to mangle the expanse of boob between them. Worst of all, though, Team Chasty found a way to mangle her glorious, shiny hair. That’s not a hairstyle; that’s an errstyle.

It must be weird to promote Miss Sloane in France — a movie that came out here eons ago and missed the S.S. Oscar — and then jet off elsewhere to debut The Zookeeper’s Wife. And yet:

I wish you could see that better. It’s essentially part of the most recent Stella McCartney collection — I can’t find its equal, but here’s a look at one of the many using this motif — except this almost looks like it’s neoprene. I feel like… look, we all have a message tee here and there in our closets. (I just bought one that says, “Phenomenal Woman,” because DAMN RIGHT.) But, and I freely admit this might be my general impatience with Stella talking, I find its incorporation into this collection to be a bit artless.

This one is Antonio Berardi, and I’m fixated on how terrible that center window is. It looks like she sliced it open in the limo because it was chafing. Hey, it’s been a while since Chastain hit the circuit in earnest. Maybe the gang just needs to shake off some rust.

[Photo: Getty]