Despite the headline, this isn’t really about Intern George at all — it’s more about people near him. See, Intern George is a fantastic employee… we assume. Let’s rephrase: Intern George would be Employee of the Year at GFY HQ, should he ever decide to come to work. But he’s too busy gallivanting, and that’s fine; he has a lot of hugs to spread. But apparently he’s forgetting to make sure the people around him are hewing to the laws of awesome. One of which is: When you have an occasion that’s huge either for your career or your profile, or both, you should look drop-dead unforgettable. And two people in the Intern George orbit did not.

Let’s start with Shailene Woodley, a.k.a., Amy on Secret Life Of The American Teenagers Who All Seem To Want To Get Married And Have Babies At Eighteen:

Shailene here is in a movie with George Clooney. It is, in fact, her first major movie. She has spent the past several years on TV staring somewhat vacantly at a block of wood with Danny Zuko’s hair on it, discussing their shared baby, and now suddenly she is playing Intern George’s daughter and people are really going to be looking at her, and it’s her chance to make a big ol’ impact. And I’m not sure this is really enough. The more I look at it, the less I have an issue with it, so that’s in her favor. But there’s something oddly stuffy about it.  The neckline under the lace looks like an old-school full slip, like my mom used to wear. And my mom is many things, and all of them are awesome, but one thing she is NOT is 19. (And that’s fine, because if she were, it’d be both creepy and scientifically puzzling.) For my money, Shailene should’ve really pulled out all the stops, and then maybe gone stop-hunting and then shoved the ones she found someplace just so she could then pull THEM out, too, and found something that was a memorable knockout. People need to be talking about you, and this is just sort of a “mmm-hmm, now where did I leave my martini…”

Rate it:

  • Five stars. A masterpiece. (5%, 300 Votes)
  • Four stars: Good family fun. (28%, 1,855 Votes)
  • Three stars: Just fine if you watch on cable. (53%, 3,503 Votes)
  • Two stars: Question your wisdom (10%, 687 Votes)
  • One star: Question EVERYTHING (4%, 294 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,641

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Next up is Intern G’s current flame, the future Mrs. Someone Who Isn’t Clooney Because He Doesn’t Marry People Which Is His Prerogative And That’s Fine:

GIRL. This is terrible. YOU ARE DATING GEORGE M’F’ING CLOONEY, and this is your first event together as a couple, and you are in a bunchy, scrunchy velvet turtleneck dress that looks like you spent about $40 on it at Charlotte Russe? ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Surely Elisabetta Canalis left something in one of the villa closets that you could’ve borrowed, or, I don’t know, maybe Georgie could’ve made a few calls — I’m PRETTY SURE people answer them when he does. I actually like Stacy — by all accounts she’s really, really nice — but this is so depressing to me. I feel like dating Intern George has become a makeover story, and Dating Intern George will show up on the WE network soon with each season being a different leggy bombshell going from mall to Marchesa to Marc Jacobs For Dior. Le sigh. George, call your desk. Or, you know, the phone on my kitchen counter, which is where your desk would be. We need to talk this through.

I'm vexed.

  • Me too. (93%, 4,615 Votes)
  • I'm not! (7%, 331 Votes)

Total Voters: 4,946

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