How appropriate that they’re promoting something called The Return, because Ralph Fiennes and Juliette Binoche are returning to the screen together for the first time since The English Patient. The movie is about Odysseus, because if there’s anything we’re clamoring for right now, it’s more content related to the works of Homer that we love so much. Where’s that Iliad prequel we’ve been petitioning for, huh? Where’s the prestige TV series about Penelope’s youth? Get on that, HBO. Anyway, good to see these two crazy kids hamming it up together, I appreciate Ralph’s pin stripes, and did not buy a photo of his pants because they do not offer any sexy or blasphemous surprises. I did get the rest of Juliette’s ensemble:
Mostly because I can’t tell if those are functional sleeves, or dysfunctional ones flapping around pretending to be a cape. And is that a scarf, or a hood? Is she a nun heading up her own motorcycle convent? Is she, too, dressing for spy shenanigans like Keira Knightley is? Did they both get the same memo? Personally, I’m voting for Motorcycle Abbey. You can climb ev’ry mountain a LOT faster with more horsepower.
