Let’s talk about our beloved Mayor of Squintsville, Chad Michael Murray. Remember like two years ago when Natalie Portman decided she was rebooting Scruples — BE STILL MY HEART — and then they went and cast CMM as Spider — MY HEART IS BROKEN — which is the worst casting EVER and then that pilot didn’t get picked up and we were all so sad? Well, don’t worry. He’s still working:

NOT as like the groovy baristo at your local Coffee N Scarves Emporium, where they’re having a BOGO on hair gel but a blistering shortage of razors, as you might think from this, but instead on some show called Chosen on something called CRACKLE that the New York Times actually says is pretty good. WHO KNEW? We are learning.