This seems fairly regular at first glance, other than the fact that Halsey is almost unrecognizable as herself — not that I ever really know what she looks like; her hair is short, long, blonde, brown, black… she’s a chameleon, and that works against her a little because it means she doesn’t really stick, for me, unless she wears something insane. This is where her pants come in, and where her strategy might be working for her, because I will never forget this day. If it appears to you that her pants zip all the way down to the base of crotch, well, you’re partly right…

Premiere of Teen Titans Go! To the Movies

… because they don’t stop there. THEY GO ALL THE WAY UP. Halsey has located a FULL VAG ZIPPER. Does this not chafe, Halsey? Does it not chill you, even a little? Is this for better coat-closet banging, in the event that you find yourself having cruelly worn pants on the very day you end up in need of a quickie? Is pulling down your trousers in the ladies’ room so arduous that it’s CRITICAL to be able to split them completely? I could see making that argument if you were in a jumpsuit or a romper that needed an escape hatch, but even so… this does not solve any bathroom problems, and indeed might even create some more. Full Metal Labia is pretty extreme. Bless this person’s nethers, for she is sacrificing them on the altar of WTF.

Tags: Halsey