This is a scroll-up fug, really: Those shoes are divine splendor, sent down from the heavens and then blessed by Common himself. But she’s wearing them with a glorified Christmas tree skirt — or, the skirt of any non-denominational celebratory shrubbery on a stick; I don’t know her life — and I think it’s possible she also just was at the beach drinking too much Champagne in the sun. The whole effect is as if this person gets paid to pretend to be Halle Berry, at birthday parties for people who really liked Cloud Atlas and such, rather than actually BEING Halle Berry. I prescribe a standard-issue Halle pixie cut for two weeks and then let’s all see how we’re doing.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

Tags: Halle Berry