Let’s have Samuel Taylor Coleridge pitch in here for a second:

“In Xanadu did Kubla Khan / a stately toga party throw

Where painter’s tarps did twist and shout / around the parts where skin poked out

And grass stains and mud did win.

And Emily VanCamp woke up in a sweat / thinking she wore this and did forget

But no, it’s Bonnie Dennison here / an ex-soap star who does not fear

The crinkled nonsense, front to rear / nor fabric that looks caked with beer

Pray, stuff it back in your rubbish bin.”

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