Listen, I know the world REALLY wants Jessie J to happen over here. And maybe she will. It’s likely I will look back on this entry come next year’s Fug Madness and be all, “Silly me, how could I doubt the juggernaut?” But right this second, all Jessie J is to me is a mix of Katy Perry’s whimsy with Adele’s pipes — which isn’t such a bad thing…

… until you throw in Gaga’s air of desperation and Rihanna’s penchant for uni-legged body stockings. Oh, Jessie. Can’t you just SING? I’m tired just looking at the rhythmic gymnastics happening up and down your right leg. And not for nothing, but at least Rihanna’s Naughty Reverend getup had a whiff of being expensive. This just looks kind of like somebody really annoying thought he was signing your cast.

[Photo: WENN]

Tags: Jessie J