First order of business: how did it get to be August already? This summer is RACING past. I can’t take it. I haven’t even had an affair with a surfer yet! That was on my list!

– While I spend my free time thinking about surfers, Queen’s Brian May…became an astrophysicist. And wrote a book about, oh, just THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE. He is awesome. And I need to be more productive with my life. (NPR)

– Instead, I will probably just spent it thinking about how terrible yet AMAZING this trailer for Burlesque is. Seriously. Cher can barely talk around her own lips, there’s a dude in a misguided hat, and suddenly McSteamy shows up for, like, one second. And also, Xtina is trying to act. (At least she can sing.) It looks truly awful in the way that means I am going to LOVE IT and may see it multiple times. (Vulture)

– If you’re a Friday Night Lights fan — which I am — you’ll enjoy this interview with Connie Britton and Kyle Chandler. Or, as I will call them forevermore, Coach and Tami Taylor — easily the best married couple on television right now. Possibly ever. Just read it, y’all. (EW)

– I admit that when I read about these “ironic” adjustable-waist “Gluttony Pants” (the pockets are lined with fabric depicting people pigging out), I thought, “those are PERFECT for Thanksgiving!” Hey, better than sweats, right? Especially because they’re actually pretty cute. Sadly, there is no lady version yet. Listen, we ladies can be gluttons too. Not only for punishment. Sometimes for ice cream. (All the Rage)

This fabulous tilt-shift video of London makes me want to book a flight on Virgin RIGHT NOW.I can taste my pint from here. (Flavorwire)

This is maybe my favorite headline of the week. (Celebitchy.)

– Time Out New York compiled — on Post-Its, surely purloined — confessions from a variety of New Yorkers about their worst on-the-job/interview gaffes. Me, I once applied for a fact-checking job at Bon Appetit and SPELLED CONDE NAST WRONG IN MY COVER LETTER. I will never forget catching the typo as the letter spooled through the fax machine. (I’m old.) I screamed. And did not get the job, of course. (TONY)

– FINALLY, advice for how to get your cat to pose for pictures whilst wearing elaborate costumes. My assumption was that the secret was to drug them. Not so! (Racked)

Naomi Campbell apparently found it “a terrible inconvenience” to leave her summer holiday to testify at a war crimes trial. I guess that’s just one of the risks you run when you date someone who could be put on trial for, you know, WAR CRIMES. (Lainey)

You probably need to watch this montage of Rachel Zoe misusing the word, “literally.” Sometimes she mixes it up by literally using it correctly, just to keep you on your toes. You will figuratively die. (Jezebel)