Well, that was a weird week for Americans — that day off right in the middle had me confused about what day it actually was for the rest of said week. Like, I’m being as productive today as I would be on a Tuesday. It’s weird and unsettling. Ease yourself into the weekend with:

– Thinking about what you are going to wear to our East Coast book signings! They’re so soon, and are as follows: We are at Books and Greetings in Northvale, NJ on Tuesday, July 17th at 6pm; at WORD in Brooklyn on Wednesday, July 18th, at 7pm (you can RSVP here, but you don’t HAVE to but it might make YOUR life more convenient); and at Brookline Booksmith in Boston on Friday, July 20 at 7pm. COME ON OUT and talk about SPOILED, MESSY, this here website that you’re reading, the new Dallas, my shoes, Katie and Tom’s divorce, etc. Books will be read, books will be signed, questions will be asked and answered, and a good time will be had by all.

Clooney DOES look like a good host. What kind of intern never invites his bosses to his Italian lake house? A BAD ONE. Maybe he’s mad because I keep saying, out loud, that I can’t believe he and Stacy Keibler are still together. (Lainey)

– This is so awesome. The Awl recently did a piece called…All the Presidents’ Menus. YES. Apparently  John Tyler loved him some pigeons, and Nixon was always on some crazy 60s diet. Really interesting.  (The Awl)

– You might need to know how each of the 50 states got its name – what if you end up on Jeopardy? (Mental Floss)

– Let’s look at this awesome photography featuring TURBANS. (Los Angeles, I’m Yours)

Flavorwire discusses the bands that make you undateable. You know, if you’re a megafan. Not like if you accidentally hear a Nickleback song in the dry cleaners it marks you for life or something. That being said, I totally like some of these artists. THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. (Flavorwire)

– Allegedly, Channing Tatum hates Alex Pettyfer. TEAM CHANNING. (Celebitchy)

– Speaking of Chan-Chan, Vulture helpfully breaks down the nudity in Magic Mike in charts. (Vulture)

– This story about how a young journalist and an Olympic swimmer chanced each other’s lives might make you cry a little. (New York Times)

– Brilliant: quotes from Joey Potter that could currently also apply to Katie Holmes (Refinery29)

– We talked to Stuff in support of MESSY; read our interview! (Stuff)

– Speaking of, What YA Reading called MESSY “the quintessential beach read: light, fun, and knock-your-socks-off hilarious.” Thank you!! (What YA Reading)