I know, I know. But Paris is mostly living in London right now — a la Lohan; I’m sorry, great Britain, we didn’t mean to unload them on you, it just happened — and now that she’s suddenly single again, she is popping out in all kinds of looks. My theory is that she’s decided that since Nicky got her big expensive wedding to a Rothschild at the Orangery, she TOO shall meet and wed someone interesting and posh in the UK. Dear God, please let Paris somehow wind up in charge of some money-pit of a stately pile (nothing too historic) and please let them film her trying to fix it up. For real, though. Not Soft Scripted Paris Hilton Flips That Manor. Like actual proper documentary footage of Paris Hilton being forced by the love of a noble but cash-poor man to figure out how to preserve those frescoes in the chapel.