A word of advice, Katy:
If you’re going to be attending an event thrown by a company that purports to fit cups to a girl’s pups, it might behoove you to wear a corset that fits, rather than just cutting up a lampshade that you bought from a woman who collects those super creepy Ashton-Drake babies that they sell on the back of Soap Opera Digest. Although for some reason it wouldn’t surprise me AT ALL if you and Russell Brand sat down at home with Oprah in a couple months and revealed that what brought you together is that you share the world’s largest collection of their Mystical Fairy Warrior Dolls, and that you have “adopted” six of those horrifying So Very Lifelike Yet Still 100 Percent Not-Real Babies and are raising them like real children. And that this shirt is your idea of a nursing bra. Nope, that probably wouldn’t shock me at all. The people at Ashton-Drake Almost Lifelike Child Protective Services, however, might not be as calm as I.