NATURI NAUGHTON: Wow, Lil’ Bow Wow, you turned out totally cute.
LIL BOW WOW: It’s just Bow Wow now. It’s embarrassing to be called “Lil” when you’re an adult.
NATURI: And BOW WOW isn’t a problem?
BOW WOW: It’s called branding. Like, no matter how much he tells us to call him “Dwayne,” people are still calling The Rock, “The Rock.” You can’t really change names mid-career. You know?
NATURI: Fine. BOW WOW, you turned out totally cute. I like the nerdy retro glasses and rolled up sleeves thing you’ve got going on. You look smart AND casual.
BOW WOW: Thanks. It’s true. I AM smart and casual.
NATURI: Why did the photographers cut the other people we’re standing with out of the photo, do you think?
BOW WOW: So that people could concentrate on a) my cute glasses, and b) that bizarro experiment blooming from your mid-section like some jeweler’s rendition of the thing from Alien.
NATURI: That seems harsh! I was thinking of it being more reminiscent of the bow on a gift you get at a gift store at a fake artists’ colony. From a place called, like, “GESTURES” that sells a lot of hand-blown glass and giant crystals cut in half.
BOW WOW: Is that GOOD?
NATURI: Yes. Those sorts of stores remind people of vacations, and people love vacations.
BOW WOW: I need to see this closer up:
BOW WOW: Weird. Now I want an artichoke.
NATURI: You just don’t understand my vision.