Stuff we learned in the basically awesome finale of Revenge: Emily is actually Sydney Bristow, right down to the Presumed Dead Not Dead Mom, whom I can only hope will actually be played by Lena Olin as well, despite the fact that she’s too old.  Nolan is ALSO not dead — thank god, given that I am possibly secretly in love with Nolan all of a sudden. But Boring Oxy-Addled Charlotte MIGHT be dead, which would actually be AWESOME (no offense to Christa B Allen; I just like it when shows are ballsy enough to kill people off, although she is moderately more interesting now that Drugs Have Made Her Evil), because she ODed on her Oxy because SHE thinks VICTORIA is dead, because of how Victoria’s plane exploded (there is LITERALLY no way Victoria is dead, although I am pretty sure poor Amber Valleta actually get exploded). DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA. Oh! Also, Emily’s Ninja Sensei Master let the Actual Emily out of the box he was keeping her in, or whatever, and she showed up just in time to foil Our Emily telling Jack that she’s all in love with him, and what she foiled this with was her PREGNANT BELLY DUN DUN DUN DUNNN. I have my doubts that it’s actually Jack’s baby, but we’ll find out. That poor drink-pouring fool just wants someone to love now that his 90 year old dog died. LET’S LOOK AT OUTFITS.

Tags: Revenge