I feel for Ruth Wilson.
It’s got to be a bear to be the only person left promoting a movie that’s a turkey, financially and critically, while your director and the other stars are giving sulky interviews about how NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM without stopping to consider that maybe the movie actually wasn’t great, and also people have some Johnny Depp Wears Wacky Make-up, Employs Mannered Accent fatigue. Like, I really wish Johnny Depp would make a movie where he plays a modern person who has a regular (handsome) face, and talks with a normal person voice. It would be REVOLUTIONARY at this point. His reviews would be AMAZING because people would be so RELIEVED. Right now, he’s playing The Wolf in Into The Woods (which is a great part, but kinda more of the same for him), some crazy-sounding futuristic movie where he loads his brain into a computer that might let him have his actual face please God, and FREAKING CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW AGAIN IN ANOTHER PIRATES MOVIE MY GOD ENOUGH. I joked to Fug Friend Jen the last time we were at Disneyland that they should make a deal with Actual Live Johnny Depp to, once a year, replace Animatronic Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. You wouldn’t know it was coming until you got there, and it might only happen for twenty minutes. It would be awesome. AND NOW I THINK HE WOULD TOTALLY AGREE TO IT. I love you, Johnny Depp, and you have done a lot of nice things for children and pre-teen me loved this picture of you cradling a puppy (the photographer’s take on that shoot is pretty cool; I’ve literally remembered that picture for 26 years). I just want you to sometimes work with people who will let us see your pretty face without blacked out teeth/giant sunglasses/ awkward face paint. Also, now poor Ruth Wilson has been totally ignored for this whole paragraph because I have so many feelings. In short: I don’t hate this, but I feel like she’s given up, and I don’t blame her. You?
[Photo: WENN]
