Fug or Fab: Olivia Wilde

I think this is what Olivia Wilde’s Change-Up outfit was TRYING to be.

It’s eerily similar, but without dumb shoulder pads, with a better torso slit, and a smoother fit — and as a bonus, no satin shoes, glaring at us like Sophia Petrillo during a St. Olaf retrospective. (Dear Teen GFY Readers: Check for The Golden Girls on your TV listings. You won’t be sorry. I will accept credit for saving you from a lifetime of ignorance about how to Zbornak someone, i.e., cut them to the quick with just a silent, stony stare. Deploy it in your next math class. It will change your life.)

Anyway: Although this is as simple as can be (and is it still a hair too long? I can’t tell), it’s a decent example of how fit should (usually) triumph over funkitude. But let’s talk about the bangs: I still content they completely change the shape of her face, to its ultimate detriment. Observe:

I think she looks a hundred times more beautiful without the hair valance. But what do we think of this outfit? I thought I didn’t like it — like she bought a beaded poncho on spring break and has been dying to make it work with something, anything, in her closet. But there’s something undeniably regal about it. It does at least say something. I can as easily see Cleopatra donning this for Marc Antony as I could J.Lo for Marc Anthony — I feel like they both liked to get dressed up for a lovers’ quarrel, especially if it was something the dude would struggle to rip off during the makeup sex and perhaps get thwapped in the face (like a final piece of one-upmanship). However, I would caution Olivia from adding Marc to the list of famous bachelors she is allegedly courting/being courted by. The ensuing Battle of the Cheekbones might be too intense.

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