I had a dream the other night that I bumped into Christina Hendricks in the ladies’ room at a Sizzler. No, really. Apparently my subconscious really likes sensibly priced but mediocre buffets. Anyway, in the dream, she offered me a Diet Coke flavored donut, told me that Jon Hamm thinks he’s allergic to pickles but is actually allergic to dinosaurs (easy mistake to make, obviously), and then ripped off a wig — a la another famous TV redhead — to reveal that her hair was actually made of hot pink Twizzlers. (This was inspired, I suspect, by the exhibit at my local Arclight Cinema featuring movie scenes recreated with licorice, including one of Elizabeth Berkley licking a pole. It is glorious — Showgirls the way it was meant to be rendered.)
Nothing that dramatic is happening here with this outfit. I’m sorry. But there’s still plenty to talk about, so let’s move along and then reconvene in the comments to discuss why Diet Coke donuts don’t exist yet.
Do you like?
- Oooh, YES! (24%, 1,182 Votes)
- Ooooh, more than most, but still not fully (59%, 2,943 Votes)
- Ooooh, no. (17%, 868 Votes)
Total Voters: 4,999
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