(1) LADY GAGA v. (9) AMBER ROSE

Just another morning for Lady Gaga, going out dressed  like a condom on Good Morning America:

Yes, she literally said that outfit was based on condoms, to promote safe sex. Which, okay, safe sex IS important. But, like, so is preventing heart disease and I’m not going out wearing a cardiac stent.  (Parenthetically: how much are we in love with woman standing right behind Gaga, with her mouth agape? You can just assume that’s the expression on my face every single day of the year, all the time.)

I’m not sure what this outfit is to promote:

Um, the heartbreak of night-blindness?

This, on the other hand, is clearly to raise awareness of Larrykingitis — a terrible disease in which young women begin, inexplicably, to dress exactly like Larry King and, in later stages, start to stalk Larry King in the hopes of being able to banter with him on air about what they want people to think about them after they’re dead. (Generally, their hope is that people say things like, “she could not dress herself to save her life. So here we are.”)

Amber Rose, luckily, has thus far managed to avoid Larrykingitis, but I’m pretty sure she’s suffering from a raging case of Jumpsuit Mania:

With a side of Boot Lunacy.

A dash of  Wacky Tights Fever.

And, of course, a terminal case of  WTF.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Lady Gaga (55%, 7,681 Votes)
  • Amber Rose (45%, 6,213 Votes)

Total Voters: 13,895

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(5) PAZ DE LA HUERTA v. (4) VARIOUS KARDASHIANS

If you are familiar with the collected works of Paz de la Huerta, then you are surely well-accustomed to seeing her parade about in a variety of  generally long, often skin-tight, occasionally weird dresses. But I suspect that the most….entertaining things about her are the expressions she makes.

FOR EXAMPLE:

And, of course:

And, naturally:

How do you top that? (In fairness, her clothes are not technically THAT bad. But SHE HERSELF is WACKTACULAR. Vote as you will.)

Oh, wait, I bet these girls can top it. Well, maybe. They’re a team, anyway, and they’re going to try. See?

I really wish I could have been on the three-way call where the Kardashes decided what to wear at this event. Kourtney’s all, “I’M ONLY GOING TO WEAR ANIMAL PRINTS.” And Kim would be all, “I’m going to be a schoolgirl with an old-lady-necklace fetish!” and Khloe, I imagine, was probably just like, “I hate both of you, sort of. I always look so AMAZONIAN next to you guys, when I’M ACTUALLY NORMAL. Screw it, I’m just going to wear a scarf and some shiny leggings and hope for the best.”

Kim should NEVER wear those pants again. Just a note, Kim. Seriously. Burn them.

And as for these two:

I wish them the best? Let’s leave it at that.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Paz de la Huerta (58%, 7,991 Votes)
  • The Various Kardashians (42%, 5,706 Votes)

Total Voters: 13,697

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[All Photos: WENN.com]