Since we saw a lot of Leona’s CRAZED and CRACKED OUT Out and About looks in her last game, let’s take a look at her on stage for this one:

That’s like what would happen if she somehow got cast in a gender-bending version of Phantom of the Opera. Which, now that I’ve thought of this, I NEED it to happen. Bieber can be Christine! He seems like the sort to get dragged down to someone’s basement/lake lair and secretly kind of like it.

This is what she’d wear if…I was going to say, “she got cast in a musical about 80s hair metal,” but I guess the real end of that sentence is, “if she ends up in Rock of Ages.”

Which is ALSO not a bad career move, apparently. Wherever goes Tom Cruise, there goeth Leona Lewis, as they say. And by they, I mean, “me, because I totally just made that up.” But it would be potentially fun if that were true, right?

After all, this is straight out of Eyes Wide Shut.

On to FloWel! Let’s look at HER in a few out-and-about looks:

Are those studded jean shorts underneath her Early 80 Secretarial Pool Meets 70s Summer Festival mash-up outfit? Wait. Y0u know what?  Let’s not even go there.

Shall we go here?

Nah, I just watched Some Kind of Wonderful over the weekend. I’m tapped out.

What about this?

That’s more like it.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Leona Lewis (73%, 9,210 Votes)
  • Florence Welch (27%, 3,410 Votes)

Total Voters: 12,618

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Here’s the question: can Miley succeed where Bieber failed? Taking down SWINTON is no easy task.

This should help:

Those shorts are straight out of a vintage Playgirl.  No teenage girl should ever look to the casual wear of a member of the Village People as inspiration. (Other than maybe the Native American. Is a headdress EVER wrong?)

This is what she’s going to wear when she joins Leona in her underground lair:

It’s lair-chic. It’s high-lair-ious? No? No? I tried.

This, at least, makes me think she must have been getting dressed whilst high (ALLEGEDLY, don’t sue me with all your kajillions of dollars, Miley):

I just can’t even.

Whereas SWINTON — the beloved of Fug Nation citizens far and wide — truly had, other than what we featured in her opening game, and especially in comparisons to years past, a rather tame year. I can not tell a lie, y’all. She looked quite normal for much of the last twelve months:


NORMAL. (Also, that coat is kind of awesome.)
Now, yes, her butt bow was wacky, and the gown she wore to the Globes was very sister-wife-y. BUT IS IT ENOUGH? That’s where you come in.

Whose fug reigns supreme?

  • Miley Cyrus (89%, 11,285 Votes)
  • SWINTON (11%, 1,462 Votes)

Total Voters: 12,741

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