Last week, Miley EASILY dispatched Gywneth Paltrow — whose recent Jumpsuit From Hades wasn’t eligible this year – to meet up with Nightgown Enthusiast Jennifer Morrison, who took 57% of the vote over Keke Palmer (you’ll be back, Keke!). Miranda Kerr just BARELY squeezed past Selena Gomez, advancing thanks to fewer than 100 votes. She’ll be meeting Kate Hudson, who dispatched Taylor Schilling, but not as smoothly as you might have thought. Could Kate be about to go down?
Obviously, these two were always meant to meet. Wait, what? Just kidding. A more unlikely pairing I cannot imagine. Jennifer Morrison favors long shapeless nighties:
They’re not BAD nighties, but nighties they are, the likes of which you expect to see on the heroine of a gothic novel, as she floats along the staircase of a house that’s planning to devour her heart. Literally and figuratively.
Sometimes she goes actually goth, and switches to black. Although she doesn’t seem that thrilled about it:
In fairness, there is the occasional jaunt into the short, shapeless nightie:
I’m not sure that’s an improvement?
Miley, on the other hand, does not choose to dress her body in that sort of fashion. Like, at all. And I have to say on her behalf that, although her clothes are BONKERS and NAKED, she is at least cheerful in her wacktacularity. Cheerful, and victorious, and also butt cheeky:
This one is from when she hosted the VMAs — she’s not performing here, so it counts, and BOY DOES IT COUNT:
That thing is a salute to wig tape. I can only hope that it’s secretly a leotard, because if not, there’s literally no way to walk in it without flashing your junk to the world at large.
This feels so apt for the upcoming Easter holiday:
And this is surely a glorious celebration of spring:
And this, a salute to…um. Uh. Hmm. Well. Yeah. Sequins?
Here are Miley’s archives, which are vast and glorious.
Whose fug reigns supreme?
- Jennifer Morrison (13%, 871 Votes)
- Miley Cyrus (87%, 5,863 Votes)
Total Voters: 6,734
These two feel like they have A LOT in common, right? They seem like they’ve dated the same dudes. HAVE THEY, or did I just make that up? It seems true. Let’s run with it.
And run AWAY from this, the outfit that made me most irrationally mad last year:
WTF do you think you’re belting, lady? THAT’S JUST YOUR SKIN.
I feel like Miranda’s Useless Belt and Tube Top feels vaguely related to Kate’s Tube Top and Choker Combo, though Miranda’s is CK, and Kate’s is Michael Kors:
Do we think the folks at Klein and Kors got together to discuss whether or not they could convince people to look ridiculous in a variety of updated pieces from Units, or it was just creative parallel thinking?
It’s undeniable that both of these women are super fit, and we know it because we’ve seen a lot of their respective abs:
They both LOVE a cut-out:
Both of them embrace a pattern:
FYI, the above was not on Halloween. Nor, in fact, is this:
It amuses me that her face is so shiny at an event for La Mer. She’s like, “I AM SO MOISTURIZED, YOU GUYS.” That’s being a good sport, at least?
And then, the big finish, in the form of their most major red carpet looks of the year:
I don’t even know which of these I’m going to vote for yet. This is going to be close.
Whose fug reigns supreme?
- Miranda Kerr (47%, 3,080 Votes)
- Kate Hudson (53%, 3,519 Votes)
Total Voters: 6,599