First of all, thank you so much for your patience in waiting for this post. We were traveling, and then I got run over by the Globes/Critics Choice Awards/SAGs train BUT I AM BACK and we have a LOT of falling down, illusion netting, and crotches to discuss. Also: I can’t believe that none of you told me that Rachael Flatt is wearing white skates now! VICTORY IN OUR TIME! (Well, except for Rachael. Poor Rachael. Just go back to college, girl.) Also also, we clearly need to talk about Ashley Wagner’s epic crack-up and how she ended up making the team anyway, which I understandthe Deadspin article I linked to last week called it the Marta Karolyi effect (if only US women’s figure skating was anywhere near as tight as US women’s gymnastics was in 2012) — but I still think feels a little unfair, perhaps because I just enjoy the drama of having nationals be, essentially, the Olympics trials and if you screw up, it just plain old sucks to be you.  AND ALSO ALSO ALSO we need to talk about how the Olympics is now having team skating. SO MUCH SKATING!

[Photos: Getty]