It’s nice to see Eva Longoria, although… am I seeing Eva Longoria? This doesn’t look like the Eva Longoria of my memory. I don’t know if it’s the angle or the airbrushing, but one side of her face doesn’t feel like it matches the other one, in a way that doesn’t connect with how she appears in person. It’s as if someone mixed her face with some of Dakota Johnson’s DNA, or Poppy Montgomery’s, or something. What is going on?

If you were hoping to get fitness tips from the story, by the way, hers involve getting so hardcore into the trampoline that you actually travel with one. She brought one to Dubai. This is… not a regular-person strategy. But I digress. I like Eva — she is a very, very underrated comedic actress, and smart, and it’s great that she’s getting into producing. I want to see more of her on TV again. But, the actual her.

[Photos: Caleb & Gladys for Women’s Health]