Confidential to Princess Charlene, AKA The Anti-Kate Middleton:
Girl, I know your marriage is (ALLEGEDLY) a mess. But I PROMISE you’d feel better if you’d just change into…well, let’s just start with “something else.” Everything else. All of this could be…uh, else. Try it. It might help. Seriously.
Good luck with, um, everything.
Love,
Jessica
