It’s been a rough year for Debbi Morgan, on-screen and off: In real life she had Lyme disease and her soap got cancelled, and in Pine Valley, she got a disease that made her slowly go blind and she couldn’t treat it because of her miraculous late-in-life pregnancy, so she ended up giving birth in a cabin (the PV residents really should just put birthing suites in the woods, as no one has given birth anyplace else in a very long time) and because she couldn’t see, she didn’t know that her baby was stillborn and that her husband handed her a different baby that happened to have been abandoned in a cop car parked right outside. I mean, that’s a lot for one year.

I’m pretty sure she’s come out on top. She’s 54. And LOOK AT HER SKIN. She could be wearing Heidi Klum’s gonorrhea clothes and I’d probably still be in awe of her. Thank God she didn’t feel the need to go there, though. I can only handle so many sartorial PSAs in one day.