“Oh, lord. It happened. I knew this was going to happen, and it happened. I did a movie with Cate Blanchett and now I have to PROMOTE the movie with Cate Blanchett, and so I’m standing next to Cate Blanchett. I’m standing next to her in a photo. I’m standing next to Cate Blanchett in a photo where she looks fantastic. I’m standing next to Cate Blanchett and she looks fantastic in this regal blue shift with an explosive gold streak, like an expensive centipede, except beautiful. I’m standing next to CATE BLANCHETT in a photo where she’s EXPLOSIVELY REGAL with an EXPENSIVE PRETTY CENTIPEDE and I’m in a goddamn bralet and a black barrel. At least it’s just a photo. They don’t live forever, right? Sure.”

[Photo: Getty]