“Like, ho, how do you do? My name is Paris. And you are… wait, what’s that? Your name is America? That sounds familiar. Have we met? Oh, that’s right: YOU USED TO LOVE ME. And then Kim Kardashian wiggled her butt around and her sister got knocked up by a guy who carries a cane, and you were all like, ‘Paris WHO,’ and now all of a sudden you want me to turn around and show you what I’m wearing? You want to see how cute I look? You want to overlook the fact that it looks like I pinned a bagel to my head so that you can coo all over my outfit? NOW you’re interested? Well, maybe I’m not. Maybe I don’t WANT to talk to you. Maybe I just want to share my outfit with my loved ones and the people who were THERE for me when… just kidding, I’m totally going to turn around LOVE ME PLEASE GOD LOVE ME I HAVE SO MUCH TO SHOW YOU.”
So you've seen what she's selling. Are you buying?
- Yes! She looks totally cute now. (21%, 1,862 Votes)
- That red and white dress WAS really cute, but the rest... maybe with a coupon code? (42%, 3,778 Votes)
- Ew. No. (10%, 873 Votes)
- Ew. NEVER. (28%, 2,511 Votes)
Total Voters: 9,025
[Photos: Getty and WENN]