Hi Ashley. You might remember me as Reporter Who Stood Nearish To You At A Christian Siriano Show, Just Kind of Gazing At How Great You Looked While You Were Being Interviewed. Although probably not, because lots of us were doing that.
Anyway, I’m concerned about you acquiring that shirt. And then wearing that shirt. Indeed, is it a shirt? Or is it a shirt-dress that you are turning into a shirt? Regardless, Ashley, I’m pretty sure that shirt is not living its best shirt life. It is not maximizing its innate shirting potential. It may not have potential. What it is doing is laughing at the sheer number of buttons that have been given a vacation day today. Why have you fastened only three of them? And if you needed to belt it, why did that happen RIGHT above where you gave up on the buttons? It doesn’t want to be a shirt, Ashley. It doesn’t want to be a dress. It doesn’t seem to want to be anything other than perhaps some kind of artistic cardigan. A boho smock. Something people wear to an incense-fueled hootenanny when they plan to dance around a campfire and then suddenly find themselves naked. And when you wear it here, wandering down the street after having brunch, you look like you just had sex in the dressing room at an Anthropologie. Which, if you did… good on you for not getting caught, but you’re kind of giving the game away.