The thing is, I am so fried right now, I can’t even tell if this is FINE or ATROCIOUS.
It’s definitely not FAB. But everything with Heidi Klum is going to be ranked on a scale from zero to PELVIS, and this falls somewhere in between. It’s rumpled and sort of snug and boxy, and the ab windows aren’t that flattering, and the bodice is basically an arrow that implies it thinks we should downgrade it. But: NO PELVIC BONE. There really ought to be a German word for when something is probably pretty half-assed but at least it keeps your erogenous zones covered. Like… I don’t know. Groinenfreude. Klumpfegeschlagen. We’ll workshop it.