“Boo,” pouted Ke$ha.
“I unroll a bunch of old film canisters that I found in my closet and glue them to myself, and then give myself a Mohawk that looks like I lit my head on fire, and all you bitches can say is that I look like I dropped acid and ate a VHS copy of Blade Runner? When Lady Gaga does this shit y’all call it art. Why can’t I be art? Look at my eyebrows! LOOOOOK!”
“I didn’t glue barrettes to my face for my HEALTH, people. I did it because your love is my drug, and also, so is Gorilla Glue. I just hope you feel bad tonight, knowing that while you’re sleeping soundly and quoting Lady Gaga songs on your little Twitters, I will be at home screaming while three portly ladies from the nearby waxing salon pry these from my skin. FOR YOU. ALL FOR YOU.”