ROB: So we’re here to celebrate country music because we’re in Water for Elephants, which is… set in the country, I guess?

REESE: I don’t know. I’m just trying to put on a happy face because this is technically my honeymoon.

ROB: Oh, gee, that’s right, you got married recently.


ROB: Sorry that I didn’t RSVP. I travel so much that I didn’t get the invitation.

REESE: …. Yes, that’s it.

ROB: I KNEW IT. You didn’t invite me.

REESE: Well, it’s just…

ROB: We’re about to go on a HUGE press tour together. Spending SO MANY MINUTES in each other’s presence. And we show this whole movie where I look cute, and not all psychotic and blood-hungry and emo-depressed or that I have spent a hundred celibate years learning how to play the violin or whatever, and still I get NOTHING?

REESE: It’s not personal, it’s just…

ROB: Awkward! Ha!

REESE: Ha ha. You got me.

ROB: It’s really okay, Reese. I’m not upset. Well, not because of that.

REESE: What’s bugging you?

ROB: Shouldn’t a woman on her honeymoon wear something that fits a little better?

REESE: Oh, well, maybe, I’ve been kind of busy…

ROB: It’s really weirdly not good on you, though. Are you secretly pregnant?

REESE: I hate how everyone assumes a girl has to be pregnant these days. Maybe it’s just hella unflattering. Maybe I LIKE it that way. You don’t know my life.

ROB: But you’re an admitted Type A person who even named her production company after that personality trait, right? Isn’t it killing you to be wearing a piece of tulle that looks like it was affixed to you when a fan drove by and shot you with a glue gun?  It’s just all so haphazard.

REESE: … YES. Oh, God, Rob, I just want to rip it off and fix it. What am I DOING?

ROB: Let’s go backstage and talk about this. Remember I’m dating Kristen Stewart, so I have to diagnose and treat fashion madness all the time.

REESE: Bless you. I will totally invite you to the baby shower.

ROB: … Nah. Unless there’s an open bar.

REESE: It’s a deal.