Okay, so, there’s plenty of Fashion to look at here, but also: I stopped watching Riverdale in the middle of last season because I felt like it just CAREENED OFF THE RAILS and now the promos for this new season imply that Archie is in jail and doing a lot of pull-ups in a tank top? WHAT HAPPENED.

Also: I feel like Luke Perry has to be thinking to himself, “MY mega-hit teen soap opera’s second season was fucking spectacular. You kids don’t even KNOW. Call me when you have a doll.”

[Photos: Broadimage/REX/Shutterstock, Kristin Callahan/ACE PICTURES/INSTARimages.com]