All I want in this cold and unfeeling world is for this to turn out to be the first in a series of formal, Spice Girls themed gowns. One will be chevron-patterned, bearing the words ZIG-A-ZIG-AH. One will be half red, half pink, and where those two colors start to blend together, it will read 2 BECOME 1. One will look like a floral pattern until you examine it more closely, and then you’ll notice that it says “SAY YOU’LL BE THERE” in cursive, over and over again. The last one will be just a straight-up knock-off of Ginger’s Union Jack dress. One for every day of the week. This will give me everything — all that joy can bring. This I swear.