Join me on this special journey.
If you’re like me, you glanced at this and thought, “Oh, great lipstick, and the dress is a pretty color, Karlie looks ni… wait, what is… are those jeans? Am I hallucinating?” And then you felt your heart leak down your leg and land in your falling arches.
Because it’s totally jeans. It’s capri boyfriend jeans, in fact, worn with a prom dress that put itself back into a ponytail after a tough night on the dance floor. That gown partied its heart out and did a sloppy lambada with its date and then clutched at its friends and cried a little when the DJ shut it all down with Green Day’s “Time Of Your Life,” and now it’s ready for pajama pants, Papa John’s breadsticks, and some bad-idea drunken texting while watching whatever rom-com can be found on the premium channels. It is DONE and it does not want to see sunrise, much less another sunset. And yet that’s what’s coming for it. Oh, Karlie, can’t you put that sad thing back in a dress bag and pick out a good blazer?