“I have a plan, lovers. Shh. Hear me out. My talent show is ending next year and so I am going to go revitalize another big show: Lots of Kardashians or whatever. I will go in like a Category Lopez Hurricane and I will blow that Krispy person right out of there and take over the family and upgrade it, just like I did on the Idol thingIt makes sense, lovers. I do Kim better than Kim does Kim, I can show Kylie how to do Kim better than she is doing Kim. And I have proof it is meant to be. What proof is that, beautiful thigh hero of mine, you ask? Look: ‘Jennifer’ equals ‘if’ plus ‘Jenner.’ MATH DOES NOT LIE. I’M COMING, FAMILY.”

[Photo: Getty]